03/10/2023 | 12:05pm | Brooklyn, NY
I got self conscious and stopped updating this website after a little while last year. Well, I suppose I didn't have a vision for what to put here. But I've decided to try again. I was exploring the small web last night and got so, so excited with what I saw. I want to contribute and exist within this space.
I'm struggling to determine what I want to host on my personal "irl" website and what I want to do here. So, at the minimum, I've decided to share some music ideas. I like that part the most out of what I was doing last year, so I'll begin there. I think anonymity is cool but unfortunaly, I also have an ego to satisfy and a desire to bring some of my ideas into the physical world.
06/22/2022 | 1:46pm | Brooklyn, NY
I'm playing my first show in over two years next week. I'm nervous and excited.
05/18/2022 | 9:23pm | Brooklyn, NY
The past two days have been mirrors of one-another. Yesterday, I woke up full of enegry, happiness, and focus. I had a great day - just about as good as it can get during the work week.
Today, I woke up tired, uneasy, and unable to focus. It was an emotionally grey day where I never really felt truly connected to myself.
Funny how that works out sometimes.
a quote: on making more useful technology
05/02/2022 | 10:52am | Brooklyn, NY
"It's common to hear technologists articulate that same dream of making technology so useful that it's invisible. But how will it become so? Simply by weaving itself into the social fabric that preceded it; by becoming more humane. The teleology of technology's march is that it should mirror us better--that it should travel an arc of increasing humaneness."
From User Friendly: How the hudden rules of design are changing the way we live, work, and play by Cliff Kuang with Robert Fabricant
vulnerability of voice
04/20/2022 | 1:42pm | Brooklyn, NY
I find the anonymity of this website to be really liberating. I haven't told anyone in my personal life about it. What's fascinating to me is that I naturally have started coming here to share what I'm doing in my life. Somehow the anonymity has allowed me to actually be more personal. I think that alone says a lot about my relationship with traditional social media (and maybe the web as a whole).
For example, I've been sitting on music demos for years and have never shared any of them. But here, I have no reservations. I want to share and have a place to document my growth. So why do I feel like I can't share them on my socials? Is it a fear of expectation? Or of letting people down if they don't like the new work? Does it have to do with the slight hope of virality or the number of shares/likes something gets? Maybe it's that on social media art turns into "content". Here, it just exists on its own. You can listen if you want but you have to step into my little beige world first.
Anyway, I do feel a small loss of anonymity by singing. By sharing my voice, you now know a little bit more about me than if I was just sharing instrumentals. But that's okay. I'm just happy to have a space for myself and if you listen along, thank you for doing so.
04/15/2022 | 1:39pm | Brooklyn, NY
Spring has truly arrived this week. I'm currently sitting outside at the local park. It may seem counter-intuitive, but I love being on the internet outside. It's as simple as that.
Although, I will say that it's kind of bizarre that everyone that I can see in front of me (of all ages) are also on their devices. Young woman on her phone laying on a blanket. Two friends both on laptops with a kid (probably about 3 years old) using a phone while laying in a hammock. Man basking in the sun while looking at his phone.
collections & humanity
04/12/2022 | 9:38am | Brooklyn, NY
When I was in college, I worked for the head of my department: a wonderful and eccentric man who was, and still is, truly passionate about technology and how it influences our lives for the better. I remember being surprised the first time that I went to his office. It was jam-packed with trinkets, flags and posters on walls, and books spilling from shelves. Every inch of the space was filled. This claustrophic (yet cozy) room seemed contradictory to the time. Web 2.0 and the giant media companies were just hitting their stride. Everything seemed to be about shedding the physical world and curating online libraries. It felt strangely archaic for a tech pioneer to want to have this much stuff. When I asked why he collects the way he does, he pointed to his shelf and said, "Because when I die, this will still be here." His collection was proof of his humanity.
Will digital spaces ever be able to achieve a similar level of honesty?
a quiet corner
04/11/2022 | 1:34am | Brooklyn, NY
I would like to say an official hello. So, here it is. I've always wanted a small corner of the internet, but have struggled with representing myself honestly for just about as long as I can remember. I've had many personal websites but they always lean toward the professional and wind up acting as a place to show portfolio pieces. Ultimately, these iterations are pretty devoid of actual personality and are just a conduit for showing work.
I've felt similarly about social media. I've spent recent years navigating Instagram and Twitter, attempting to contribute in meaningful ways but always playing by the rules and norms of the platform. Again, those limitations lead me to not being an authentic self. There is certainly a version of me online, but I want a space that can be messy. A space that holds all of the pieces of who I am. A place that feels like you walked into a corner of my actual home. I want you to see my collections, the way the room is organized, and how that translates to who I am as a human being. I don't know if the current version of the internet truly allows for that. This is why I am sharing. It is an attempt to reclaim the internet in a way that feels meaningful.